Well this post isn’t as racy as the title suggests, I promise. Also, the above picture is of my grandmother, my sister and I on our latest trip to this same place, ergo…it’s kind of relevant. 😉
Recently, I had an experience with my sister’s sweetheart that for some reason came to my mind as I was preparing for bed tonight.
All of the ladies in my house hold shop at the same little boutique for our under things. It’s a little pricier than I’m use to but well worth it I assure you. Anyways, my sister’s long term live in sweetie, for some reason, just loves going to buy clothes with the ladies. Not on a weird way, mind you. More like in a “I want a chance to flaunt my know how” sort of way. One day he comes up to me and says, “Let’s go get you and Kayla some new under things” and in true conservative style, I tell him no, that I have plenty good ones and don’t need to spend the money on something frivolous like that right now. Here is how the conversation progressed from there.
“But don’t you want to feel sexy? It makes a world of good for any girl.”
“No, I don’t really care about feeling sexy.” My faith was pretty well and against such things actually, something he seemed to love to ignore when it suited him.
“You don’t want to feel sexy? But it’s not about anyone seeing them, it’s about making you feel confident!”
This gave me pause. Slowly, I began to turn over those words in my brain like a candy on my tongue, tasting them and analyzing.
Why did I have to feel sexy in order to feel confident? Why did a young woman have to objectify herself, even if only in her own mind, in order to walk with her head held high? Did he not think I was capable of feeling confident on my own steam, for myself? Confidence doesn’t come from some lacy scrap covering your body nor does it come from the attention you get from others. It is a light that you have to find inside yourself, that lighthouse beam that leads you safely through life’s inclement weather with your heart guarded against arrow slings and the worldly treats that lead you away from the path God has laid out for you. The sense of self I have grown into has come from years of hardship, disease, trials and tribulations and no man, woman or demon down under the sea can take that from me. Not now and not ever.
So, from now on, I’ll do my shopping with my sisters alone and I won’t let anyone try and tell me where my self-confidence should come from.