New beginnings herald a new Philosophical Hedgehog picture. Many of you may have noticed that I’ve not updated for some time and here is why. On Monday of last week, I finally started a new job. Some of you may know that I’ve been without work since January. I was absolutely thrilled when Home Depot called me in for an interview and subsequent hiring. I’d put in so many applications and been looking for long, I’d even had another interview, and not heard back at all. I was starting to feel hopeless and desolate. Also, in that same time period, about a month ago, my boyfriend and I separated. We still have a relationship but we were no longer dating. It all started to seem like it would never be okay. Then, suddenly, I was employed again! I may not be calling him my boyfriend but he’s still my sweetheart. Everything was looking up.
Now the point of this little schpiel is coming up. With a new job, comes, for me, a rather awkward conundrum. I won’t name specifics because I don’t care much for long winded philosophical debates on the internet but I am of a faith that it is really obvious on sight what my faith is. So unless a person asks me directly, and they almost always do which I don’t mind at all unless they’re being snooty about it, I generally don’t even acknowledge that there is a difference between myself and the cashier beside me. Unfortunately, as I said, they almost always ask because it is a rather marked difference, and herein lies the trouble. Whenever they ask, I am always honest because the last thing I would want to do is to deny my faith, but they always end up with these preconceived notions of the kind of person I’m supposed to be.
Whether they expect me to be better or worst than I am, there is this expectation. I’m always feeling pressured to live up to this expectation and if I slip even a little, that it’ll put the rest of those of my faith in a bad light. As a follower of this faith, I’m a representative of it and every one of my sisters and brothers in it, just as I am a representative of the Deaf community and every Deaf person in it. I would never want to do them ill in the eyes of the rest of my community, especially in the eyes of my coworkers. This can leave me in a rather distressing position at times when those who don’t know anything about my faith and haven’t bothered to ask make snap judgments about what it means and how my behavior and thoughts should reflect it. I don’t feel that my coworkers should think more or less of me or my work ethic based on my religious views. Starting a new job is stressful enough without it. What do you think? ~Trying Not To Feel Frustrated